CaminEND

Hey guys,

I promised myself I would give you a proper report of my whole pilgrimage so here we go. The problem is, what more can I say about it besides that I walked a lot and had a fight with an army of bedbugs? I figured the best way to enlighten you further about my Camino experience is to write down a Question and Answer session, giving answers to all the questions the readers have sent me. Since that reader is mainly me, you may find some of the question or the answers rather peculiar.But that's how I like it.

Here we go.

Q: You mention pain a lot. Do you really need to be a masochist to enjoy walking the Camino?

A: Unfortunately you do. I am saying unfortunately, but in fact I would say it is a fortunate thing that the Camino stands for pain. No pain no gain is the saying, right? So if you are a masochist, and derive pleasure from paining yourself, you will find yourself in a continuous state of ecstasy on the way. However, in consideration of the hypothetical case that a non-masochist would be nuts enough to decide to put himself through this ordeal, would they still enjoy it? I would guess yes, because there are a lot of adorable stray kittens in every village you pass. And for the dog persons out there (because let’s be honest, cat-people suck): the challenge for you would be somewhat bigger as there are very few adorable stray puppies on the way to pat, get diseases from, and make photographs of. On the other hand, you will encounter many big, impressive sheep dogs, as you are walking through country side a lot. Which by the way can be quite boring at times, so my suggestion here is to fill your pockets with chorizo or some other kind of sausage, just to liven things up may you pass one of those sheep dogs. You will also be at the next stop much quicker this way. That is, if you make it alive.

Q: I am recently divorced. How big is the chance of finding a new husband on the Camino?

A: Let me first state the commonsensical; this of course depends on how old you are, whether you have developed any social skills during your life span, wax that dark shady hint of a mustache regularly, and basically if you don’t look too much like that hormone troubled, over 50 with that boring but practical, short, shapeless haircut. That aside, it is of course all about your inner beauty, and as many people on the Camino are working on that aspect, this is probably a promising occasion to connect with a special someone that sees the shining (but undiscovered or unappreciated) light inside of you.

I can however sense the true nature of your question so let’s put it out in the open right here right now: are the men hot? Well, to be honest this is a hard one to answer because the looks of the majority of male specimen on the Camino were obscured by excessive facial hair, especially the closer you get to Santiago. So have a good look around you when you arrive at the starting point of the Camino when the males don’t yet look like disfigured apes, pick a target and stick with them. Plenty of trees on the way to hide whilst you are following him, after which you can easily bump into him “per chance” at the next albergue. I hear bells ringing.

Q: How do I order a burger and fries in Spanish?

A: Easy. Just say ‘Coño, da me tus cojones, puta madre!’. If you find this will only get your teeth smashed in, it’s best just to wait until you encounter a proper Burger King in the next town. Of which there are zero to none, so I suggest you go with the flow and order a traditional tortilla instead. They serve it everywhere, and with a bit of imagination tortilla can even pass for a burger with fries as it’s basically potatoes served on white bread, and if you’re lucky with a bit of ham. However, a warning is in place here, since you will get sick of the white bread. The Spanish love their white bread and serve it any time, every time. The favorite peregrino snack for on the road is a bocadillo, or sandwich. You got it: with white bread. And huge; the average bocadillo is at least a foot long, needing a whole cow to produce the cheese or meat to put on it, and takes lots of chewing and tough gums to devourer. Bocadillos aside, there is white bread served with every meal. I am sure that if you’d eat every piece of white bread offered to you, you’d become so bloated and fluffy from the inside, it would only take a few days to make your body float like a balloon. ‘Good’, you might think, ‘that would relieve me from the pain in my foot soles’. But as 99% of peregrino’s are masochists this would be a very sad situation to be in for most of us. Therefore, beware of the bread!

OK people, this blogger here is getting tired so I'll stop here. Fear not; my reader(s) sent me many more questions so next time I will answer more. Before I part with you tonight, let me give you the oversight of the route I walked:

Date	Day	Destination	Distance
17/09	1	Roncasvalles	25
18/09	2	Larrasoana	27
19/09	3	Cizur Menor	21
20/09	4	Puente la Reina	19
21/09	5	Estella	22
22/09	6	Los Arcos	21
23/09	7	Logrono	28
24/09	8	Ventosa	20
25/09	9	Ciruena	25
26/09	10	Belorado	30
27/09	11	San Juan	24
28/09	12	Villafria (from there bus to Burgos – 7 km)	17
29/09	13	Stay in Burgos	-
30/09	14	Castrojeriz	41
01/10	15	Fromista	26
02/10	16	Carrion	20
03/10	17	Terradillos	27
04/10	18	El Burgo Ranero	27
05/10	19	Leon (bus: 45 km)	-
06/10	20	Leon	-
07/10	21	Villadangos	25
08/10	22	Astorga	30
09/10	23	Foncebadon	28
10/10	24	Ponferrada	28
11/10	25	Villafranca	25
12/10	26	O’Cebreiro	30
13/10	27	Triacastela	21
14/10	28	Santiago (bus: 142 km)	-
		Total distance to Santiago: 796	Total: 607